Most Men Suck In Bed

Posted by The Opinionista on Feb 4, 2013 in Life | 2 comments

You have no idea how much I’ve hesitated to publish this post. I’ve had it in my blog’s “drafts” section for over a month, but I’ve been mulling about writing it for over a year. You see, I write mostly about politics, and this post is neither on politics nor politically correct. But, what has finally made me decide to take the plunge is that every time I say that most men suck in bed, I get a knowing grin/nod combo, sometimes an outright guffaw (from women, of course).

It was the great George Bernard Shaw who famously stated, “When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.”  That’s enough proof for me  that I’m on to something. But I’ll give you three other reasons why I’ve come to this conclusion.

First, let’s acknowledge that women are super competitive with each other (make-up would have never been invented if we weren’t). We are competitive because we are well aware of the scarcity of good men. We all know, both, that “a good man is hard to find,” and that “a hard man is good to find.” So, when we find a good man,  in and out of bed, we fight to keep him.

Second, there’s history. Some time back in the ’80′s, at the same time that the Enjoli woman was singing, “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget you’re a man,” Cosmopolitan magazine started running articles telling women that they were responsible for their own orgasms. Most women saw this as the natural evolution of the feminist movement which rightly empowered women to take control of their own lives.

I see it quite differently. In essence, Cosmopolitan was telling liberated women that in addition to having a job outside the home, cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, driving the kids around and an infinite number of household chores, women were also responsible for their own sexual pleasure. Now, why would a magazine championing women’s happiness promote the idea that the one time during the day when a woman should be allowed to just lie back and have her needs fulfilled, she has to take charge? Simple, Cosmopolitan editors came to the same conclusion as I have and proceeded to adapt Margaret Thatcher’s political advice to the bedroom. That is, “If you want anything done, ask a woman.”

Third, women fake orgasms. Woman’s Day reports that 48% of women have faked an orgasm at least once in their life.  CBS News reports that 80% of women fake orgasms at least half of the time, and the New York Daily News reports that 26% of women fake an orgasm every single time. So, tell me, if most men were good in bed, would so many women feel the need to fake it? Besides, don’t you remember When Harry Met Sally how she showed him what a great faker she was? As you know, “Practice makes perfect.” Simply put, Sally was an expert at faking orgasms because of the many times she needed to put this particular skill into practice. Need I say more?

I actually do, but it’s going to have to be in my next post, Why Do Most Men Suck In Bed?  You see, I realize that it’s really hard these days to concentrate on texts that are longer, a lot longer, than 140 characters, especially if you’re thinking about sex—good or bad.

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